Through the Storm “Surviving His Death”

  There comes a time in life where you realize that you don't have to please everybody else just yourself. To be ok with the person you look at in the mirror, you go to bed at night and you wake up to each morning is set Heaven ready and ok with themselves is the time you finally realize "I done all I could do God". Maybe it wasn't the right choice for everyone involved, maybe you failed your children in ways that they will never understand. Someday their children won't understand either so you just know you did ok with what you did, made mistakes but at the end of the day ask yourself "Did anyone die"?, did it scar you so bad you can't go to work tomorrow? Good then carry on and you try to do better than I have failed to do. When you can lay the ball down and know you've chased that dream, did you win? I don't know I got side tracked 15 times trying to get to the finish line. Life, got in the way! Life held me down when I wanted to go, life ...

 Long ago,  I learned to let things go— To loosen my grip,  to let love flow. Sentimental at heart,  but I had to be wise, For everything good  would meet its demise. So I became detached  from what I couldn’t keep, Letting go of the dreams  that crumbled in my sleep. I’m not one to hold onto fleeting things, No trinkets,  no photos,  no borrowed rings. But feelings carve deep into my core, Each moment we share  becomes something more. It stays with me,  though I may not cling, For memories live in my heart not things. In our laughter that echoes through the trees, Gathering branches in the autumn breeze. Playing music beneath the moonlit sky, Howling tunes as the night drifts by. All leave my heart full, But never too heavy to fly. The pictures could burn,  the trinkets turn to dust, But here in this body,  you will always live in trust. Etched in laughter,  alive in space, Your presence remains,  your warmth,...

 It’s so sad to think that this is honestly what life has come down to. Strangers talk more than people you’ve known your entire life, visiting is almost non existent anymore.  I think is it just me, but it’s not really, it’s everywhere. A phone call from point A to B is the expected communication in today’s society if you’re lucky, because it’s rush here or there. I hate this stage of life it doesn’t bring me any joy anymore and it’s not about going out and finding your own joy it’s about why bother. What’s it gonna do end up in the brush pile with the last stack of broken glass. I do see how as I get older it is easier to stay more alone rather than go out and try to do something. It’s one of the biggest reasons probably to just stick to everything online. Communication, shopping and learning have become the modern way to do things and now funerals are online with a viewing so heck why not start early. Cheaper prices for a funeral surely, I mean no reason to have any viewing...

 So often we miss the mark by simply being selfish. I am forever grateful that Jesus did not choose the day of crucification, to choose himself over us. A pondering thought, and such a scary thought would be and should be in our hearts & minds always is this; “Lest I gain the whole world and lose my soul, what would be to gain”. Oh Lord help me to be more humble and have a greater desire for others, than I do of myself.  “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” ‭‭Mark‬ ‭8:36‬ ‭KJV‬‬ I’m already losing the battle so I’m already losing me 

 If tomorrow starts without me, please understand I finished my race while God took my hand, understanding his life. He never let me go. He was my companion when the world didn’t know. I cried so many times she had so many tears but finally, I’m going home, but please know I’ll miss you through the years, I’m going to be reunited with those that have went on. I can’t wait to see my best friend, but I want to see my savior number one through Jesus I am saved and every day when I wiggle my toes, he runs straight away to my father, he goes to our father every day asking for my forgiveness.  There is honestly so much that could be said about this life the challenges that you think you’ll never overcome that someday you’re sitting there like how did I do that? How how how as you  look around? It’s gone. It was God all along. He already knew your story. he already knew your destiny. He gave all faith. It was what you did with it that makes the difference. He knew I was feeling ...

 How precious is time, there is no value to cherished memories. People wonder and sometimes ask why do you take so many pictures, this is just one small example to remind me how quickly time fades and things change in a blink of an eye. Top picture taken 2 years ago other one today, we didn’t know what would lie ahead for me (for us). The cross and bench area is a memorial area I started creating in Philip’s memory. Sometimes when your soulmate is cremated it can leave you with no place to go and ponder over days gone by, so I started creating this in his honor. I have a long way to go, but it will come just as sure as death will come to us all one day. When we are called away there will be things left undone for the day. List that will be left half finished, or words left unsaid, but I pray that there won’t be one picture I forgot to take to tell what will be to late to say and memories to hard to remember. Reminiscing days gone by are easier because I took the time with Philip ov...